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Transitions

Life is one big transition.

Eight years ago, I was in the engaged category

Then transitioned into the newlywed category.  I then jumped straight into the pregnancy/nursing category where I remained for the next 6 years. 


I know all about baby transitions.  They transition from eating every 3 hrs. to every 3.5 to every 4.  Their sleep schedule transitions as they can only stay awake 20 minutes to then 30 minutes to finally an hour.  Their schedule gets shifted and moved as they get older.  I can do baby transitions.  For some reason I forgot that adults have transitions too.

Now I’m wandering around wondering what to do with myself. I just figured out that I’m in another transition. I know I’ve been baby free for awhile, but I’ve been wandering for awhile.  This last year has been a year of learning to obey God and listening to Him as he led me to get rid of everything I was a part of during the last 6 years.  The ministries, the groups, everything.  Now that I’m a clean slate again, I guess its time for me to transition into whatever this next step is that God has for me.

My kids aren’t quite as needy, I’m not so emotional or physically exhausted, I have a little bit of brain power back, and am now fighting that restlessness that comes when life changes and you’re not quite sure where your place is anymore.

So I’m transitioning.  One of many transitions to come, but one I wasn’t prepared for. 

Here’s to waiting on the Lord to see what He has for me in this season of life.

Its Been Awhile

Its been awhile since I’ve written.  Mainly because there are so many changes and transitions that I haven’t been able to even wrap my mind around our life much less write about it.

But I have noticed that with all the transitions and change, my attitude has started to change a bit.  I’m working two jobs and have simply let my exhaustion dictate my mood.  This morning as I was reading Jonah, God pulled this quote out from the text:

“Do you do well to be angry?

I suddenly realized that I was a bit angry at what my daily life was looking like.  I was a bit angry I didn’t have as much time with my kids.  I was a bit angry that it feels like there isn’t much down time in life anymore.  I was a bit angry about how I have been treated by someone.  Overall, I was just a bit angry.

Its not a huge raging anger; it is more subtle.  The kind you don’t notice until it starts bubbling out of your mouth when exhaustion hits its highest point.

This morning God opened my eyes to my anger, and I’m left with a decision:  do I deal with it or ignore it?  I’m choosing to deal with it, confess it, repent of it, and shift my focus to what God HAS given me instead of where I’m disappointed.  So today begins again my journey of thankfulness.   Its hard to be angry when your heart is continually looking at life through grateful eyes.

Grateful List:

1. A job where I pour into teenagers every day

2. A team of people willing to help me plan the women’s retreat

3. Furniture to sit on

4. A puppy who likes to cuddle and is relatively calm

5. A patient husband who serves me and waits calmly for me to adjust to all the changes in life

6. Kids who are resiliant

7. God pulling Justus’ heart toward Him

8. An electric blanket (it was freezing last night!)

9. A fireplace that works

10. Our own house with plenty of space

11. A fence in the backyard

12. Beautiful sunsets over the bean field at the end of the street

13. Great neighbors

14. Most of the boxes being unpacked

15. A rainy day to get schoolwork done

How Are the Kids Doing?

That seems to be the most asked question, and overall they are doing great.  Of course there have been moments of sadness, but for the most part they are being rockstars about all the transitions.

However, along this journey, there have definitely been some memorable quotes said.  Here are a few of my favorites =)

First Sunday here, Avery was asked by the pastor how she liked her new church.  Her response,  “This isn’t my church.

While walking out of Costco, Justus handed the receipt  to the lady at the door and stated, “The Costco in Texas is better than this Costco.”

Waking up to more snow falling, the kids stood at the window, and Justus asked, “Does all it ever do here is snow?!”

The other day Avery asked me, “Do you think maybe you could homeschool our cousins next year?  I think I would like living here more if they could be homeschooled too.

We were going outside to play, and Elliana stated, “I’m staying inside.  Maybe when all this snow melts I can go outside again.”

All three kids were complaining they haven’t been able to ride their bikes in FOREVER, so I took them out to ride.  They lasted 5 minutes before the wind got the best of them, and they decided riding bikes might be more fun in the summer =)

The first time I put the kids into the car and said we were going to Aldi, cheers erupted from the backseat.  As they calmed down and I asked why they cheered, the response was, “We’re driving to Texas!”   I guess I had forgotten to mention there were Aldi’s in Iowa too.

While driving by a Panda Express, I hear Justus gasp and then scream, “They moved Panda here from Texas!!!!  Oh, I’m so happy!”

And finally, just last week, both girls were having a conversation about our new church.  They talked back and forth about how nice people were and the new friends they were making and finally stated, “I think this is going to be a really fun place.  I think we are going to like it.”

The last quote definitely made my heart happy.

Encouraging Times

The past week has been a huge encouragement to me.

I have been blown away by the friends from high school who have emailed or sent money to support my trip to Vietnam. I didn’t really follow the Lord in high school, so to reconnect with old friends and to learn we are all walking toward Christ together is extremely humbling and so exciting at the same time.

Friends helping me get to Vietnam is tremendously encouraging.

Hearing from old friends also makes me journey back through the last 15 years and reflect on all Christ has done in my life.  In fact, it was the summer of 1997 that Christ first grabbed my attention and took me across an ocean so He could grab my heart.  That summer was just the beginning of Christ changing me.   Hearing from friends from around that time humbles me greatly and reminds me that I did nothing to deserve Christ.  He pursued me and brought me out of my environment so that He could change me.

Reflecting on the amount of love God has for me is extremely encouraging.

Then I get stopped by a former student who shares with me a vision and dream God has given her.  She is passionately obeying Christ, even though she doesn’t know how all the details will work out.  She stopped me this morning and told me this post encouraged her to push forward.  She is planning a youth conference to encourage teens to pursue Christ in Georgia and in Tennessee over the next two months.  Have I mentioned she’s 17?  But God used words I wrote to push her forward in obedience.

To be part of a chain that God uses is humbling and so very encouraging.

The emotions and encouragement of the past week have been refreshing and revitalizing.  Just a few months ago I wrote about how I felt like I was just sitting and waiting for God to tell me what was next.  I was stuck in this transition; this restlessness that seemed to have no end in site.

But there was an end in site.  This past week I have been overwhelmed as God has begun to move me out of the restless stage.  God seeing me worthy of being moved into a place of usefulness is incredibly humbling, and I am beyond grateful for it.

The waiting, the watching for God, the pruning, the trials, it was all worth it.  I’m beginning to walk out on the other side of what has been a hard 8 months.