Its Been Awhile

Its been awhile since I’ve written.  Mainly because there are so many changes and transitions that I haven’t been able to even wrap my mind around our life much less write about it.

But I have noticed that with all the transitions and change, my attitude has started to change a bit.  I’m working two jobs and have simply let my exhaustion dictate my mood.  This morning as I was reading Jonah, God pulled this quote out from the text:

“Do you do well to be angry?

I suddenly realized that I was a bit angry at what my daily life was looking like.  I was a bit angry I didn’t have as much time with my kids.  I was a bit angry that it feels like there isn’t much down time in life anymore.  I was a bit angry about how I have been treated by someone.  Overall, I was just a bit angry.

Its not a huge raging anger; it is more subtle.  The kind you don’t notice until it starts bubbling out of your mouth when exhaustion hits its highest point.

This morning God opened my eyes to my anger, and I’m left with a decision:  do I deal with it or ignore it?  I’m choosing to deal with it, confess it, repent of it, and shift my focus to what God HAS given me instead of where I’m disappointed.  So today begins again my journey of thankfulness.   Its hard to be angry when your heart is continually looking at life through grateful eyes.

Grateful List:

1. A job where I pour into teenagers every day

2. A team of people willing to help me plan the women’s retreat

3. Furniture to sit on

4. A puppy who likes to cuddle and is relatively calm

5. A patient husband who serves me and waits calmly for me to adjust to all the changes in life

6. Kids who are resiliant

7. God pulling Justus’ heart toward Him

8. An electric blanket (it was freezing last night!)

9. A fireplace that works

10. Our own house with plenty of space

11. A fence in the backyard

12. Beautiful sunsets over the bean field at the end of the street

13. Great neighbors

14. Most of the boxes being unpacked

15. A rainy day to get schoolwork done

Wow. It's Quiet Here...

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